RIP DJ Lewis

Nobody wants to be faced with this dilemma. But it is inevitable, for some sooner than others.

The dilemma came for me early last week when a friend informed me that my colleague and friend, DJ Lewis, had passed away. DJ was a vibrant, young man full of life and living. This came as a shock to me and many others.

DJ and my co-worker Rob Charles, had worked tirelessly for days on one of our DVD projects: Social Media Made Simple. D.J.’s diligence and dedication to the project got it to production just in the nick of time.

It was that same day that I was faced with my dilemma. I know this seems petty, but I thought about going to his Facebook page to remember him and mourn our loss. But I didn’t know whether to write on his Facebook wall, or leave it empty like a ghost town. The thought hurt.

It reminded me of when my husband’s good friend Jeremy past away a few months ago, and later we found some ridiculous statements made from “Jeremy” on his own Facebook account. It was insulting.

You know, Facebook – and all statements made on the internet – don’t just go away. They are fairly permanent. So to write on someone’s Facebook wall after they die… although somewhat symbolic it is also kind of a big deal. You can’t just “Facebook around” when it comes to death. It is serious.

And it has always been serious. When I was in college working for the newspaper I wrote a piece about a professor who had died, and someone created a false email account with his name on it and started sending hate mail. Facebook wasn’t around, then. But it was just as insulting. And just as serious.

But today Rob sent me an email with a link to DJ’s Facebook page. I was relieved to know that some of his friends had logged into his Facebook account, and created a memorial out of it. It now is a living page with notes to DJ, about DJ, pictures, memories and emotions.

His status said: We have lost a wonderful friend in DJ- in his memory, we are opening this page as a memorial, a common ground to share memories and thoughts about this great man.

I got to say my goodbyes, too: